


I Spy

by AlamoGirl80



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, First Time, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-17
Updated: 2011-07-17
Packaged: 2017-10-21 11:35:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/224734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlamoGirl80/pseuds/AlamoGirl80
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny isn't used to seeing the Wrath of Steve leveled on anything that isn't aiming a gun at him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Spy

**Author's Note:**

> Just a bit of fun because like Steve, I did battle with the evils of the internets earlier this week. Mucho thanks to **caliecat** and **imaginary circus** for the betas!

“Shit!”

Danny frowns, his fingers poised over the keyboard he’s currently hunting and pecking his way across to finish his reports on the Millbanks case. Tilting his head, he can hear furious tapping on another keyboard from the office next door. The tapping turns to harsh jabbing noises, the keyboard obviously straining under the weight of its user’s anger.

“Goddamnit. Stupid piece of…”

Okay. Danny’s sufficiently curious now. He pushes back from his desk and walks to the door that separates his and his partner’s offices. Through the glass, he sees Steve hunched over a laptop on his desk, face contorted in righteous fury that only a highly trained, infinitely deadly SEAL could possess.

He looks as if he’s trying to vaporize the innocent computer with his gaze alone. Danny knows from personal experience, when that particular McGarrett “glare” makes an appearance, people usually end up injured.

Or in this case, the imminent demise of an inanimate electrical device is nigh.

Danny shoves his hands in his pockets and rocks back on his heals, content for the moment to stand and watch his partner fume at the screen in front of him. He’s never seen Steve this angry at something that wasn’t pointing a gun at him so Danny wonders what the laptop has done to deserve it.

Steve starts hammering his fist into the keyboard and well, Danny figures he’d better step in before something explodes or someone from the governor’s office walks in and sees the leader of Five-0 going _Terminator_ on a stupid PC.

“Hey,” Danny enters just as Steve slams his fist down again. “Hey! What is it, the computer lose your subscription to Guns and Ammo or something?”

Steve shoves his chair away from the offending machine and runs his hands through his hair in frustration.

He looks up at Danny and sighs. “No, Danny. I think I’ve got a virus.”

“They make penicillin for that.”

“ _Computer_ virus, asshole.”

Danny smirks. “Always good to clarify when saying something like that.”

But Steve is in no mood for snark, his brows digging further together, his jaw clenching.

“Funny.” He gestures to the laptop. “I can’t even get online to figure out how to fix this.”

Danny ambles up beside him, looking over Steve’s shoulder.

“Don’t you have that virus blocker software stuff?”

“I – no, Danny, I just like to leave my personal computer open to attacks for the hell of it. Of _course_ I have antivirus software.”

Danny gives him a look and holds his hands up, placating.  “Dial it back, SuperSEAL, I was just asking.”

Steve crosses his arms over his chest and slumps back in his chair. “Sorry. But seriously, this is my personal laptop and I was looking up something for the Millbanks case. Now I can’t even get past all these stupid pop-ups.”

Sure enough, Steve’s screen is a barrage of pop-ups claiming his computer has been attacked by “malware” and that it is at risk for various forms of internet intrusion. Danny tries clicking around to open his search engine but is blocked at every turn.

“Did you try rebooting it?”

Steve just angles his head back and stares at Danny as if to say “duh.” So Danny isn’t a techie genius, sue him.

Standing up, Danny shoves a hand in his pocket and gestures at the computer with the other. “Well, that’s the extent of my technical know-how. I suggest calling Chin in here.”

Steve sits forward and begins clicking ineffectually around his onscreen toolbar. He suddenly seems… pensive? The way he went after his computer was overkill even for Steve. There is an odd set to his shoulders that sets Danny’s internal investigator radar on alert.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Steve answers distractedly.

“What is that?”

Steve cuts his eyes toward him but doesn’t face his partner. “What?”

“That. Right there.” Danny waves a finger at Steve’s general person. “What was that look with the tension?”

Steve reaches for his phone. “C’mon Danny, I’m not in the mood to hear you name and categorize all my faces right now. I’m kinda busy.”

“Uh huh.” Danny nods and leans down on the desk, eyeing Steve’s computer. “What’s with bringing your personal computer up here anyway? Don’t we have perfectly nice, overly complicated government issued computers here at the office for all your report-embellishing needs?”

“I do not embellish my reports. _You_ embellish,” Steve grumbles as he dials Chin’s cell.

“Only because saying ‘ _Commander McGarrett chased suspect off bridge, dove in and proceeded to hold said suspect under water until he confessed’_ is something that has to have some context. Just so it doesn’t sound like I work with a complete psycho. You know, little details added in that make everyone’s lives easier.”

Steve just gives him some form of ‘confused SEAL’ and the ‘Kicked Puppy’ look before asking Chin to come to his office.  A few minutes later, Chin is there and Danny takes a step back to watch as the older man fiddles with the abused technology.

Steve is standing now, directly behind Chin, arms crossed over his chest in a clearly defensive manner and everything about him screams “on edge.”

“What’d you do to this thing?” Chin asks, bent over the computer, clicking away.

“Nothing. I was doing a search for something case related… then hit this mine field of pop-ups,” Steve says.

And Danny listens; he’s a good listener despite what he ex-wife would have you believe. Steve rattles off the details of his computer's antics like he is relaying a tactical invasion blow-by-blow, but Danny can hear the undercurrent of what’s conspicuously not being said.

He’s not a detective for nothing. Danny’s seen Grace, with her big innocent eyes and her stiff posture while she talks around the description of an accident that was really her fault. The interesting thing here is seeing a thirty-five year old man adopt that same posture.

Chin is still trying to accomplish something Danny will never understand, something about “booting in safe-mode,” so he comes to stand next to Steve, hands casually pushed into his pockets.

Steve is still glaring at the computer like it’s pit viper coiled on his desk.

“So, you never answered my question. Are we now supposed to bring out personal computers here for official work, or what?” Danny asks, eyeing Steve intently.

Steve shifts, not really looking at Danny. “You want to bring Grace’s Hello Kitty laptop, Danny, be my guest. I always thought it’d look cute in your office if you wanna brighten the place up a bit.”

Now Steve is smirking a little, but Danny isn’t put off by the subtle subject change.

“Nice try, partner-mine. Why bring your own laptop instead of using the office computers?”

Chin seems interested in this answer too and looks up from Steve’s desk expectantly.

Steve’s eyes move between the two men staring at him, and yep, Danny just saw him swallow. Bingo!

“I told you, I was working on the Millbanks case at home last night on this computer so I brought it up here to finish filling out the files.”

Chin asks, “Did this start last night, or when you booted up this morning?”

“This morning,” Steve answers sullenly. “I’d just opened the browser when the shit-storm of pop-ups started.”

Danny nods and scratches at his temple. “So, this is something you picked up last night then, before you got offline.”

Steve looks down at his partner, incredulous. “Obviously, Detective Williams. What is this, an interrogation, Danny? Should I get my Miranda rights now?”

“At least you remembered there is such a thing as Miranda,” Danny mutters.

“ _Guys_ ,” Chin cuts in, just as Steve turns to stick a finger in his partner’s face. “It’s just a sypware Trojan. I’ve got a program that can clean it off your hard drive in my office.”

Steve and Danny are still glaring at each other, but Steve breaks the gaze first, nodding to Chin as he taps more commands into the laptop.

Danny motions to the computer. “Hey, don’t you get those kinds of spyware thingies looking at porn sites?”

And all at once, it’s like a vacuum has settled into Steve McGarrett’s office, sucking out all the air. For a split second, all eyes are on Steve and big, bad Super SEAL freezes. Eyes wide, a look of utter and total shock on his face, and then, it’s gone. Replaced by the easy, joking smile and a wave of the hand, which is all, obviously, a huge act as far as Danny is concerned. 

“Whatever. You can get these viruses anywhere on the net,” Steve says, attempting casual but falling short of the mark.

Danny feels a smile creep up on his face. One side of Chin’s mouth is curved upward slyly, his eyes bounding from the screen to Steve with a curious glint.

Danny decides to push a little. “Yeah, you can. But porn sites are the easiest places to pick one up.”

“Know this from personal experience, do we?” Steve’s trying to gain the high ground.

“Everyone knows that, Steve. Even me and my goofy thumbs know that.”

Steve rolls his eyes and looks away, inching ever so slightly away from Danny. “Oh, everyone knows that, huh? This from the guy who can’t figure out a simple text message?”

“This isn’t about me, babe. I’m not the one with the porn spyware turning my computer to shit.”

“Why do you care what I was looking at on my computer, Danny?” Steve’s advancing on him now, asserting authority to hide the fact that Danny’s pushing all of his buttons.

Chin has this pained expression on his face, like he’s being forced to endure the “kids” squabbling in the backseat.

Danny throws both hands up. “I _don’t_ care. Not in the slightest. It’s just when I hear my fearless leader readying a rocket launcher assault in his office, y’know, I get concerned.”

“Oh c’mon. Exaggerate some more, will ya?”

“It’s the truth and you know it, Steve. You always take everything to the extreme. You use grenades to open doors for Christ’s sake!” Danny flings his hands up wildly, “See a lock – get the grenade launcher! Computer not working – bring in the Scud missiles!”

“Scuds are used by the Russians, Danny.”

“With all your contacts in the _‘Stan_ , I have little doubt you’d somehow acquire them if you had to, Steve.”

Some where along the way, Chin says, “Okay, I’m going to go find that antivirus software now,” and leaves the office quickly.

Steve’s rubbing a weary hand over his face, as Danny moves toward the office door.

“Look, it’s your personal laptop, Steve, who cares if you were looking up a few vids on _tha’nasty_. I bet Catherine likes that stuff,” he says blithely, grinning when he sees a flush creep up Steve’s long, defined throat.

“Danny–”

“And I hear it can be a good way to spice up the sex life…” Danny shrugs

Steve makes this interesting strangled sound, his face a comical mix of frustration and embarrassment, which Danny finds intriguing as Steve’s never been too worried about looking like a sated cat the next morning after Catherine makes port.

Now that he thinks about it, it’s been a while since Steve has had that look, and even longer since Danny’s heard the sexy Navy lieutenant mentioned.

Pushing those thoughts aside, he tilts his head and looks at his frazzled partner, readying the last jab. “Word of warning, if you are going to peruse the adult sex sites, I’d get new anti-virus software.”

Danny saunters out of Steve’s office in time to hear him yell, “I did not look at porn!” and see Kono and Jenna look up from the main work table in shock. He sees Steve look at them, give the deer-in-headlights smile before sinking back into his chair, scrubbing his hands over his face in defeat.

***

 

Danny’s out of the Camaro, two six-packs of Longboards in hand, before he really thinks that maybe his partner doesn’t want to see him. Surely Steve didn’t take it personally. Who hasn’t looked at porn now and then?

But seeing Steve’s reaction to being called out on his possible cyber-smutting was too good to pass up, even at work. And Danny’s 98% certain the porn was the source of Steve’s problems; he just hadn’t expected the flush of embarrassment on his partner’s face to be so enticing.  It made him curious to know exactly what Steve had been looking at.

Entering Chez-McGarrett unannounced as always, Danny hollers a “Yo!” but upon receiving no answer, he sets the beer in the fridge and heads into the living room.

The TV is on, the sunset casting the room in an orange hue and the door the lanai is closed. The sun is dipping its toes into the dark blue ocean, but he knows Steve doesn’t swim in the evenings anyway, so Danny moves to the stairs.

He hears the faint sound of a shower running, and decides not to disturb Steve to tell him he’s there. Danny has an uncomfortable suspicion that surprising even a naked Steve might prove hazardous to his health, but, he thinks, not an unwelcome sight.

Danny smiles to himself at the image of a very wet Steve launching himself from behind the shower curtain to neutralize the enemy who’s invaded his home, and while he admits he wouldn’t mind getting tackled by his partner sans clothes, he doesn’t really feel like getting bludgeoned with some previously harmless bathroom object Steve would use as a weapon.

The infamous laptop sits on the dining room table, open and running, as an invitation for Danny’s curiosity.  Danny glances up the stairs one last time before going to the laptop and opening the internet browser.

He doesn’t know a lot about computers but he does know about internet “histories” and checking the cache of recent websites, both of which have yielded helpful information about suspects and victims on many a case. Danny clicks open the recent internet history and hopes that Chin hadn’t wiped it with his anti-virus software.

Scrolling through the URLs yields little more than what you’d expect on Steve McGarrett’s personal computer: news sites, military bulletin boards, some searches of places and job postings in Los Angeles (probably Mary), surf reports, various artillery surplus sites (figures), an entire page worth of sites about the Yakuza and industries Danny knows have been linked to Wo Fat.

He sighs, not at all surprised by the fact that nearly every waking moment of his partner’s life still revolves about the case that owns his soul. He’d been hoping some of that obsession might have cooled after so long, but well, this is Steve. Intensity is his middle name…along with reckless, psychotic, bull-headed…

Danny stops scrolling when he sees _LoveTheCock.com_ and he’s fairly sure his mouth is hanging slack. He slides a glace at the stairs – the water is still running – and then clicks on the link. At once, he’s engulfed in pictures of gorgeous, muscular men and their equally gorgeous cocks standing at attention. Clicking around finds a smorgesborg of beautiful men bending each other over couches, tables, counters and cars, fucking with abandon and looking like they’re enjoying the hell out of it.

Mouth parched and suddenly longing for one of those beers, Danny scrolls down further on Steve’s history and sees _GoldenDicks.com_ , _JustUsMen.com_ and several others touting the best gay porn the net had to offer.

So this is what had Steve all defensive in the office. Danny sits in rapt wonder at the techniques pictured and hell, he’s not ashamed to admit his brain stumbled over the exact mechanics of how to achieve a few of them without doing serious testicular injury. His heart rate is spiking, his tie is suddenly too tight and Danny uses a hand to tug it loose. Undoes a few buttons at his neck and shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

It doesn’t take much for his mind to supply the right images, superimposing rippling tattoos over the shoulders of the model on screen. Crop the hair closer and make it darker, add that fearsome intensity into the eyes. Add some blond to the other guy, legs spread wide, muscles flexing and straining, as they pushing each other over the edge….

“Danny?”

“Shit!”

Danny startles so hard the laptop nearly careens off the edge of the table. He jolts out of his chair and there’s Steve, hair matted and wet, rivulets of water trailing down that bare torso, a pair of gym shorts thrown on in obvious hurry at the sound of someone in his house barely clinging to the narrow juts of his hips.

It’s just not fair. Danny takes a big swallow and slams the lid of the laptop shut as Steve inches forward.

“Hey. Uh…I yelled cause, y’know, knocking…” Danny motions to the door as if that’s supposed to explain something.

 “Is overrated?” Steve finishes, cocking a brow.

“Something like that.”

Steve’s eyes turn wary as he eyes the computer. “What are you doing?”

“Oh, I just wanted to…check my email,” Danny fumbles out.

Steve moves to open the computer and Danny winces. The site he’d been on pops back up and a daunting array of cocks in various states of use greet Steve, and Christ, now Danny’s the one who’s blushing like a school-girl.

He sees Steve’s jaw working, which usually isn’t a good sign, so naturally Danny’s mouth takes over his good common sense.

“Is…is that what you were worried Chin would find on your computer? I mean, there’s nothing wrong with looking at porn and it is your personal laptop, so you can look at whatever you want. It’s just, I was kinda surprise when I joked about you looking at porn I didn’t expect _that_ kind of porn–”

And oh, that was stupid, because Steve steps back and away quicker than Danny can finish his sentence, ramrod straight and fists clenched at his sides. His face his hard, closed off and Danny has an eerie flashback to the first days they met, but he’s able to read Steve like a well loved book these days, and spots the unmistakable hurt coloring his features under the mask.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with this kind of porn, Steve,” Danny says quickly, putting his hands out, palms up in an unthreatening way. “I just didn’t know…y’know… that you’d like _this_ particular brand.”

It is so lame, Danny fully expects Steve to throw him out of his house, but he’s being sincere and non-judgmental. Military politicking being what it is, he doesn’t blame Steve in the least for playing things close to the vest. And thinking about that now makes Danny want to reach forward and pull Steve to him in a support-hug, if he wasn’t partially afraid the man would snap him like a twig.

The mask cracks falls to pieces, leaving a vulnerable, lost look on Steve’s face. He’s still wary, but seems to buy Danny’s sincere show of understanding.

“I wouldn’t have brought this computer to work at all if I hadn’t saved the Millbanks files on here and forgot to email them to myself at headquarters,” Steve mutters.

Danny nods, consolingly.

“So, along with entering my house unannounced you’ve taken up cyber snooping on my computer too?” Steve asks, fondness creeping into his voice again.

Danny scrubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “Yeah. What can I say? I’m a detective and I detected subterfuge.”

“Subterfuge? I am seriously shredding your Word of the Day calendar, Danny.”

Danny chuckles, for this is a threat he’s heard numerous times and his little calendar is still safe and sound.

Steve moves a little closer, smiling now, and Danny sees the tension seeping out of him. He takes a moment to study the lines and planes of muscle, still damp from his shower, to breath in the clean scent of soap, and his mouth goes dry again. Steve indulges Danny with a small smile, watching his partner’s eyes rove his body and clearly doesn’t mind because he’s right in Danny’s space before Danny realizes it.

“So, Danny. What exactly are you looking for?” Steve’s voice seems to have dipped an octave.

Danny looks up and blinks, dumbfounded for a moment by Steve filling his space and field of vision, the double-edged question hanging in the air between them.…

“Uh…”

Steve inclines his head, his grin getting wider.

Danny clears his throat and nods toward the computer, still displaying it’s X-rated glory. “ _LoveTheCock_? Really?”

Steve ducks his head and laughs, openly and beautiful and Danny thinks he’d like to hear that laugh for the rest of his life.

“I didn’t name the sites, D.”

“Well clearly, this is the worst name for a porn site. Although _GoldenDicks_ takes a close second.” Danny insists, looking down at the screen.

“What would you call it then?”

Right then, an image pops up on the screen showing two guys tangled together in a position that Danny is certain is illegal in most states, gyrating merrily over and over.

They stare, both heads tilt simultaneously to the side as Danny’s brain keeps replacing the two actors in the picture with him and Steve.

“I…would call that painful,” Danny breaths out finally.

Steve leans a hip against the table, sliding his body into Danny’s field of view. “It doesn’t look painful to me.” There’s a challenging smirk there that renders Danny helpless to resist.

“Oh really? Well, pray tell, Gumby Man, how does one get into that position and stay in it without seriously pulling a muscle?” Danny asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

Steve’s grin has a mischievous glint as he moves around Danny, effectively backing him up against the table.

“It’s all a matter of leverage.”

“It’s not hoisting a car onto blocks, Steve.”

“Some of the same rules of physics apply.”

“ _Physics_ , he says, like conjuring up images of my eleventh grade physics teacher is sexy,” Danny grumbles.

Steve laughs and Danny’s so close he can see every tiny line around his eyes crinkle with the motion, all those stupidly long lashes framing those hazel eyes.

“Besides,” Danny mumbles, because his heart is suddenly in his throat, his palms are sweating and his tie is almost strangling him now, but he thinks this is okay. This is good. “These sites don’t give very good instructions.”

“Oh?” Steve is almost nose to nose with him, leaning in and smiling openly. “Done a lot of research?”

“Purely informational,” Danny whispers, answering Steve’s grin with his own.

“I’m a big fan of exchanging information,” Steve rumbles, a hand sneaking around Danny’s neck to cup the back of his head.

“Unless it’s classified.”

Steve pulls a face before muttering “Shut up, Danny” and leaning in to brush his lips with his partner’s. Danny closes his eyes and feels the hum of his body pressed against Steve’s damp frame, not caring that he’s probably soaked the front of his dress shirt and that his tie will have to be dry-cleaned. He’ll make Steve pay for it anyway.

Just as Danny is opening up to allow Steve more access, those lovely lips are gone and he hears Steve groan miserably.

“ _Ohh_ shit…”

“What?” Danny asks, blinking his eyes open and bringing his arms tighter around Steve’s frame.

If there is a fucking cell phone going off to call them into work now, Danny is going to shoot something. Or someone. Preferably the caller.

But there is no phone ringing to pull them into another case.

Steve is looking forlornly over Danny’s shoulder at the laptop still sitting on the table behind them. Danny twists around to see why the computer interrupted Steve’s imminent exploration of his body and has to blink a couple of times to make sure he’s not seeing things.

The titillating porn has been replaced by several new pop-ups, each of them screaming that Steve’s laptop has been infected with yet another virus.

Steve sighs, rests his forehead on Danny’s shoulder and mumbles, “Your fault.”

And Danny can’t really argue. What he can do is get Chin to clean it and then recommend the most bullet proof anti-spyware on the market because he has a feeling they might frequent this site again.

Purely for informational purposes, of course.

 **END**

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not creative enough to make up these site names, so yes, they're real. My anti-spyware isn't good enough for me to check them out, though...;-)


End file.
